A Divorced Christmas Carol: A story of reflection and change in 2025

A reworking of a well known classic

Carol’s marriage was dead. You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that Carol’s marriage was as dead as a door-nail.

Carol lay awake in bed alone on a chilly December night, staring up at the dark ceiling, feeling the weight of the separation upon her. The legal wrangling, the arguments, and worry left her feeling exhausted and disheartened. Even worse, she worried about the impact it was all having on her two children, who seemed more withdrawn and anxious with each passing week.

As she drifted asleep, she was startled awake at midnight by the sound of someone clearing their throat. A figure cloaked in mist appeared before her – solemn, with a gaze that seemed to peer right into her soul. The figure looked like her friend Kiran who had a most difficult and messy divorce a couple of years ago.

“Carol” the figure intoned, “I am the Ghost of Divorces Past.”

The Ghost of Divorces Past

Before Carol could react, the room swirled around her, and she found herself standing in a courtroom, watching herself and her ex-partner, David, seated on opposite sides. She recognised the tense expressions, the stacks of documents, and the air of hostility.

“This was the beginning of your journey,” the ghost said. “The court battles, the cross-examinations, the days and nights consumed by legal fees and bitter arguments.”

Carol remembered Kiran’s story all too well. The constant back-and-forth, each side determined to “win,” which had drained Kiran emotionally and financially. Tens of thousands of pounds had gone into this process – money that could have been used for her children, for their future. Instead, she’d poured it into legal fees, court dates, and endless correspondence that moved Kiran and her husband nowhere forward.

“I lost myself in that fight,” Kiran told her, “and the kids… they saw it all.”

The ghost nodded, showing her images of her own children, Tanya and Tim, small and afraid, overhearing whispered arguments and sensing the anger that filled the home. She thought they were too young to understand, but they felt it all.

With a solemn bow, the Ghost of Divorces Past faded, leaving Carol alone once more.

“Bah,” said Carol, “Humbug. There is no other way. I will have to be tough and see this through”

The Ghost of Divorces Present

Carol fell asleep once more, exhausted. She dreamt of the judgment she would surely receive in the family court.  Carol dreamt Judge Balance saying, “I found Carol to be the keeper of the truth and David to be a dirty rotten liar. Carol has been a martyr throughout this 20-year relationship and how she put up with him, I will never know. I find her budget for her income needs to be undervalued and I will add a further 10%. I award her much more than half of the assets and David much less than half, indeed barely anything because that is obviously fair, and Carol deserves it”

Those judgments are only dreams. They never happen in reality.

The clock struck one in the morning, and another figure appeared, more vibrant but still shadowed. This was the Ghost of Divorce Present, who beckoned Carol to follow. They soon found themselves in a cluttered waiting area of a court where there was a long, long queue, again papers piled high and people seated, exhausted, glancing anxiously at their watches. Some appeared as if they were in chains.

“These are the court backlogs,” the spirit said. “The delays and congestion in family courts today mean months, sometimes years, of waiting for resolutions. There is no more money coming from the Government for the courts. It will not get better”

Carol felt her chest tighten. She was living this reality. The endless waiting, the uncertainty – it all weighed heavily on her. More than once, she had wondered if it would ever end. The ghost held up a mirror, showing Carol her reflection – eyes weary, shoulders slumped with stress. Then it turned to show her children, young and impressionable, absorbing the tension around them.

“The children are suffering too,” the ghost continued. “The longer this goes on, the harder it is for them to feel safe, to trust.”

Carol realised how deeply this ongoing conflict was affecting her children. Each time she and David argued, each court date that passed without resolution, was another layer of stress on their young hearts. It wasn’t fair, she thought, that they should bear the brunt.

As the Ghost of Divorces Present faded, the ghost said  “At 2 o’clock in the morning you will be visited by another spirit”.  Carol braced herself, wondering what this spirit would bring.

The Ghost of Divorces Future

The clock struck 2 am. The final spirit appeared with a warm glow. The Ghost of Divorces Future smiled at Carol, extending a hand and leading her to a scene she hadn’t dared imagine: a peaceful room, brightly lit, where she and David sat round a table – not as a couple, but as co-parents and partners, creating a good future for their children.

“Welcome to the path of non-court dispute resolution,” the ghost said with a smile. “You and David have chosen mediation. The mediator can help you both talk about what you want and need. Discuss what is best for your children and your finances. You can make decisions together.

In the vision, Carol saw herself speaking calmly, listening as David shared his thoughts. A mediator sat between them, guiding the discussion, giving them information about what the law is, helping them find common ground on their children’s needs, wishes and their own financial futures.

“Can this work” Carol asked, marvelling at the atmosphere of cooperation.

“It usually does,” the spirit replied. “Mediation is a way to resolve issues with a neutral third party who helps you both work together. No judges, no courtrooms – just honest discussions aimed at finding solutions that work for everyone.”

Carol watched, hopeful, at her future self and David created a parenting plan, mapping out their children’s schedules, working through the financial asset schedule that the mediator had prepared and dividing the assets fairly.

The Ghost of Divorces Future turned to her with a kind smile. “The choice is yours, Carol. You can continue as you have been or choose a future where you and David resolve things outside the courtroom, putting your children first and preserving your peace of mind.” The spirit led Carol back to her bed.

A New Dawn

With a start, Carol awoke back in her living room, the visions still fresh in her mind. The choices before her felt clearer. She could cling to the past and the bitterness it brought, or she could choose a path where respect, cooperation, and a focus on her children’s wellbeing would lead her to a brighter future.

The next morning, Carol went to the window and opened it. It was a bright clear morning. She saw a boy in the street below. “You my fine fellow– are those marvellous mediators at Anthony Gold solicitors still available? Call them now.”

This was her second chance, and she was determined to make the most of it.

“I will honour mediation in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.”

At Anthony Gold Solicitors, we believe that every family deserves the opportunity for a peaceful, collaborative resolution. Our team is here to guide you through mediation, collaborative practice, or arbitration, so you can avoid the heavy toll of court proceedings and focus on a brighter future for yourself and your family. We spend time ensuring the non- court dispute resolution is safe for you and where you feel comfortable taking part.

David Emmerson

Accredited, hybrid trained mediator, collaborative practitioner and part-time family law judge at Anthony Gold solicitors LLP

https://anthonygold.co.uk/team/david-emmerson/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_Xp4fjxhGQ