Tinsel, tensions, and time-sharing: Navigating child arrangements at Christmas

The festive season is a time for families to come together, but for separated parents, Christmas can bring unique challenges. At Anthony Gold, our Resolution-accredited family law team is dedicated to helping families find practical, child-focused solutions ensuring the holiday remains special for everyone.

Why Are Christmas Arrangements So Challenging?

Christmas amplifies emotions and expectations. Parents want to create magical memories, but separation means those moments must be shared. New partners, blended families, and the pressure for perfection can lead to disagreements. Financial concerns, travel plans, and unresolved disputes add further complexity. Our team excels at helping families find practical, child-focused solutions, no matter how challenging the circumstances.

Planning Ahead

• Start Early: The best arrangements are made well in advance. Open, honest discussions between co-parents, always prioritising the children’s wishes and comfort, prevent misunderstandings and last-minute stress.
• Be Flexible: Christmas rarely goes exactly to plan. Focus on solutions, not blame, and model flexibility that puts children’s happiness first.
• Budget Wisely: Agreeing a sensible budget for gifts and festivities avoids unhealthy competition and keeps the focus on shared experiences, not material items.

What Does the Law Say?

The Child’s Welfare Is Paramount

The law is clear, the child’s welfare is the court’s paramount consideration. The court applies the “welfare checklist” from the Children Act 1989 and will consider factors such as:

• The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child (in the light of their age and understanding);
• Their physical, emotional and educational needs;
• The likely effect on them of any change in their circumstances;
• Their age, sex, background and any characteristics of the child which the court considers relevant;
• Any harm which the child has suffered or is at risk of suffering;
• How capable each of the parents, and any other person in relation to whom the court considers the question to be relevant, is of meeting the child’s needs;
• The range of powers available to the court.

Child Arrangements Orders

A Child Arrangements Order sets out with whom a child is to live, spend time, or have contact, and when. The court will only make an order if it is better for the child than making no order at all. There is no presumption of equal time, but the court presumes that involvement of each parent will further the child’s welfare, unless there is a risk of harm.

Specific Issue and Prohibited Steps Orders

Specific Issue Order: Used to resolve a particular dispute, such as permission to take a child abroad for the holidays, agreeing on which parent will collect or return the child on Christmas Day or deciding which religious or cultural celebrations the child attends.

Prohibited Steps Order: Prevents a parent from taking a specific action without the court’s permission, such as removing a child from school early for an extended holiday or taking them abroad without consent.

If there is a risk to a child’s safety or risk of abduction, the court can make urgent orders, sometimes without notice to the other parent. The process is tightly regulated and only used in exceptional circumstances.

Where there are allegations or findings of domestic abuse, the court must follow strict procedures to ensure the safety of the child and the non-abusive parent. The child’s welfare and safety always come first.

Non-Court Dispute Resolution: The court strongly encourages parents to resolve disputes outside of court where it is safe and appropriate. Choosing non-court options can help families reach child-focused solutions more quickly, with less stress and conflict. However, it is absolutely vital to seek advice from a solicitor throughout the process, to ensure your rights and your child’s welfare are fully protected.

Your options include:

• Mediation: A neutral third party helps facilitates discussions. A solicitor can advise you before, during, and after mediation to safeguard your interests and ensure any agreement is fair and workable.
• Solicitor-led Negotiation: A solicitor can negotiate directly with the other parent or their solicitor on your behalf, aiming for a child-focused solution without the need for court involvement.
• Collaborative Law: Both parents and their solicitors commit to resolving issues through a series of joint meetings, without going to court.
• Early Neutral Evaluation: An independent legal expert provides an impartial opinion on the likely outcome of a dispute. A solicitor will guide you through this process and help you interpret the evaluation.
• Arbitration: A private process where an arbitrator makes a binding decision. A solicitor will play a crucial role in preparing your case and advising you on the implications, ensuring your interests are protected every step of the way.

These approaches are often faster, less adversarial, and more flexible than court proceedings. However, to achieve the best possible outcome for you and your child, legal advice, even in the background, is essential to ensure every arrangement is safe, fair, and focused on your child’s welfare.

Practical Tips for a Peaceful Christmas

Respectful dialogue: Direct communication is best, but if that is difficult, consider instructing a solicitor to assist you or neutral third-party mediation.

Communicate early and often: Do not leave arrangements to the last minute.

Put children first: Shield them from adult disputes and let them enjoy the season.

Stay positive: Create new traditions and focus on happy memories.

If you are struggling, reach out for legal advice. Our team is here to help.

Our family law team is recognised for its expertise, compassion, and results. As Resolution members, we are committed to a constructive approach to family law, promoting solutions that minimise conflict and put children first. We are trusted by clients and respected by fellow solicitors for our innovative, child-centred approach. Whether you need urgent advice or long-term support, we are ready to help you achieve the best possible outcome for your family.

Please contact our family team on 020 7940 4060 or at mail@anthonygold.co.uk for a confidential consultation. Let us help you make this Christmas peaceful, memorable, and focused on what matters most – your children.