Family mediation: What is it & how can it help?

Victoria is a partner and mediator within the family team at Anthony Gold Solicitors. Victoria is committed to helping people navigate discussions around separation, child arrangements and financial arrangements in a more constructive, cost effective way. Victoria works hard to help her mediation clients reach solutions that work for them and their families, within a process which can be tailored to their individual needs. As a mediator, Victoria is able to draw on her experience as a family lawyer, putting her mediation clients at ease with her calm and reassuring manner.

This guide has been created to help you understand the family mediation process—what it involves, how it works, and how it can support you through separation or divorce. Whether you’re looking to make arrangements for your children, resolve financial matters, or explore alternatives to court, mediation can offer a constructive, cost-effective, and personalised route forward.

What is family mediation?

Family mediation is a voluntary process whereby a neutral third-party, known as a mediator will help you discuss and resolve issues relating to children, financial arrangements and other issues arising from separation. Discussions which take place within mediation sessions are ‘without prejudice’, meaning that they cannot be referred to in any court proceedings (save for financial disclosure, which is always provided openly). This is intended to provide you with the confidence to make proposals and negotiate more freely, without worrying about it being used against you outside of the mediation process. Mediation provides a safe space to have conversations about issues which are most important to you and your family.

What is the role of a mediator?

The mediator is an independent professional who will approach the mediation in an even-handed way. A mediator cannot provide legal advice or tell you what to do; they are there to facilitate a discussion and to help you reach solutions which are acceptable to each of you.

However, the mediator can also provide legal information where it will assist the discussions. This can be extremely useful.

You can take independent legal advice between mediation sessions, and this is something that is encouraged, to ensure that you can make more informed decisions. Solicitors will not usually attend the mediation sessions, however they can do if you decide to have ‘hybrid’ mediation.

What is a MIAM?

A MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) is an individual meeting between you and the mediator. The purpose of a MIAM is for the mediator to find out more about your situation, the issues you wish to resolve with the other person, what is most important to you, and your concerns. The mediator will also consider whether mediation is a suitable process for you, which includes identifying any safeguarding concerns, and how the mediation will be taking place and by what method. The mediator will explain how the mediation process works, their role and how mediation might be able to benefit you. They will answer any questions you have as well as talking through the other non-court options that you may wish to consider.

What happens after a MIAM?

If you and the other person approach the mediator around the same time, you will each have your individual MIAMs and then, if you both wish to proceed with mediation, the mediator will schedule the first joint session. Each of you will also need to sign an Agreement to Mediate before the mediation process begins.

If only one of you has contacted the mediator, then, following their mediation session, the mediator will contact the other person to invite them to have a MIAM. Mediation is voluntary and therefore each of you need to have had a MIAM and agree to proceed before the process can commence.

If the mediator considers that mediation is unsuitable, or if mediation breaks down during the process and either of you wish to make an application to court, you could ask the mediator to complete and sign the relevant court form which would enable you to make an application to court. Attendance at a MIAM is compulsory before issuing applications in respect of child or financial arrangements, unless one of the exemptions is validly claimed.

What can I go to mediation for?

Mediation can be used to discuss a wide range of issues and can be tailored to your individual needs. You could use mediation to resolve issues around child arrangements, finances, and various other issues arising from separation. You might want to cover a wide range of issues within mediation, or you may wish to focus on a narrow issue. Mediation is a flexible process which can be adapted throughout, and there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach.

Mediation can be a useful process for discussing variations to previous agreements, for example as children grow older and arrangements need to be reconsidered and adapted.

You can also exchange financial disclosure within mediation, and it is possible to invite other professionals into the process if this would assist your discussions. For example, you might benefit from involving an independent financial advisor, a therapist, or even a neutral evaluator. All of these options can be discussed with the mediator who will work with you to ensure that the process best meets your needs.

How many sessions will there be?

On average, between 3-5 sessions that are needed, however every mediation is different and therefore much depends on your own circumstances. Further, each mediation session tends to last between 1-2 hours and the sessions will be scheduled at a pace that suits each of you and what you are hoping to achieve.

Do we have to be sat in the same room?

Joint mediation sessions can take place in person or remotely by video, depending on the preferences of the individuals and the mediator. You and the other person can be in the same room (in person or remotely) or in separate spaces if you do not feel comfortable being in the same space. The mediator will discuss this with both of you during your individual MIAMs, and this can be kept under review as the process continues.

How much will it cost?

Mediation is a much more cost-effective alternative to court and, usually, the mediator’s fees will be shared equally between you. The overall cost will depend on how many sessions you require, and the fees charged by the individual mediator.

What happens after we have reached agreement?

The mediator will provide you with a written record any proposals reached in mediation, however these will still be ‘without prejudice’ and do not constitute a legally binding agreement unless both you and the other person wish to formalise this outside of the mediation process. If you have reached proposals in respect of financial arrangements, the mediator can prepare what it known as a ‘memorandum of understanding’. This document provides an outline of the proposals, so that you can each obtain independent legal advice on these before taking steps to enter into a binding agreement. The mediator can also summarise any financial disclosure within an ‘open financial summary’.

If you have agreed child arrangements within mediation, the mediator can also prepare a ‘parenting plan’ which records these as well as broader statements of intention in respect of what you each hope to achieve for your child(ren) both now and in the future.

How do I find out more about mediation?

There is lots of information about mediation on our website, and organisations such as Resolution and Advicenow also provide lots of useful guidance.

For more information about our mediation services at Anthony Gold and how we might be able to help you and your family, please get in touch directly by calling us on 0207 940 4000 or feel free to drop me an email on vgb@anthonygold.co.uk.